Obviously you don't understand a thing any one throws at you. It could be right in front of your face and it still wouldn't matter because you are so oblivious to it. Do you even understand how much you truly hurt me? You ripped me to pieces and it doesn't seem like you even care. The fact that your daughter wants nothing to do with you should be tearing you apart. But it isn't is it? Obviously its not. If it was I wouldn't have to send this letter. Every time I think about you or what happened not only does it make me sick to my stomach but I either want to punch something or bust out crying. And when it happens in public or at school it makes it ten times easier. I can control myself just a little better now but everything still reminds me of you. I don't know what it is. I can relate a song or movie to you. The thoughts that come to my mind are never good ones, always every thing you've done wrong. The past may have been forgiven but that will never be forgotten. You are a father. But you sure don't act like one. Don't tell your self everything will be O.K. because it won't be. Do you get that? Nothing will ever be O.K. You make think right now things are going good but you have no idea what's coming your way. The only important thing in your life is yourself. You are a liar. Always have been and always will be. You threw everything you had away. My trust, my love, my respect, and you family. You threw us in the trash like it was nothing. This letter is not for you it is for me, to get over you. Maybe writing ans sending this will get you off my mind. My life is hard but not as bad as some people have it. After everything you've done, through all the pain and heartbreak you've put me through. Three things came of it. I know who to trust. Through your lies and manipulation I can tell through the way people talk and their actions if they are lying or not. It is very sad I had to learn that from you. The second is that
some people are just not worth getting all worked up for. My heart is stronger, yet I'm still weak. I wonder why that is. Maybe because my father who I used to think was the best dad in the world abandoned me knowing what was going to happen.I told you, I want nothing to do with her. And if you were going to be involved with her I was not going to be in your life. I made that pretty clear because I told you almost those exact words. The pain you have put me through most people think would in unbearable. You must not know how much you hurt me. You are still hurting me. I miss you and want you in my life. The thought of you not being there for my first everything. I know you getting married, I saw it coming. Never in my life have I ever been more disgusted with anyone! And to know it's my father. Half of my blood is yours. I want you to think about this. Read this out loud. Maybe you'll understand it a little more. Read out loud " I left my kids. My son and my daughter. My mother, my sister, my nieces and my grandparents, and my father. No body is there for me. I'm with a women who probably doesn't love me as much as I love her. She probably is sneaking around again but i'm to stupid to realize and i'm to weak to stand up for myself. I'm out of time. I'm out of chances. Do I get out now while I still have time to get back on my feet and show my REAL family I'm worth the millionth chance? Do I get up off my lazy behind and take a chance of my own and be a grown man? Do I show my children I can do this? Do I truly miss and love them? Or am I finally glad to be out of that trap." I know you must think you have it so hard. Just remember everything you put me through and everything you are putting me though. DO you honestly think you're doing the right thing? Or is this just best for you. You tend to choose what is best for you and not good for anyone else. Maybe when you get you life together and you choose the right people in your life you won't be dead. I remember the times we would listen to Toby Keith in the truck. I remember listening to the songs and listening to you sing. When I was still young and dumb. Now i'm older and wiser. I know what you do. I know what you've done. It's so hard trying to think of anything good. Any good memories we've had. They are all so cloudy by all of the hurt and pain.
Is he going be there? Is he going be there when I go to my first dance? Is he going be there for my sports? Is he going be at my graduation of high school? Is he going be there when I decide to go in to the navy? Is he going be there when I decide to go to college? Is he going be there for my wedding or my first child? Not all the questions but you get the idea. When I think of these I have to remind myself I don't want you there. How horrible is that? Horribly horrible, I know. But what else am I supposed to think? You deserve the dad of the year award? I think not! I really wish I could hurt you as much as you hurt me. I really wish I can hurt you as much as i'm hurting. The third and last thing you've taught me is to really pay attention to who truly loves and cares about me.